Gingerbread
by Amonl'isa
Summary: Christmas is coming, and Zim isn't happy. Everybody seems to be in the spirit of things even Mrs. Bitters. So when the Skool is partnered up to make a gingerbread house...


**Gingerbread**

(Mainly) From the Imagination of Amonl'isa

Disclaimer of Dooom: I don't own Jhonen Vasquez's work, or any of the other people who worked on Invader Zim who's names either escape me or don't take up rent in my mind. This is my stab at a /very/ early Christmas fluffy thing of filthy dooom...yeah. Zim's a little out of character, toward the end...But yeah.

**Gingerbread**

This "Christmas" time is here again, and I, ZIM, have not enslaved them yet. Every day is seeming to go by terribly slow at Skool. Why? Oh why you ask, it is because of this dreaded Christmas. It's mind-boggling hypnotic powers have seemed to even capture Mrs. Bitters, and sent her into a flurry. A bad sort of flurry. She's wearing a hat constantly, a bright red hat - lined with white fluffy stuff. Actually, everybody is wearing hats like these. Even, dare I say it, the Dib-human. The only one, aside from myself, who remains untainted by this evil force, is the Dibsister.

Even that new girl, Bak. She's in the "spirit" of things too. When I thought everything was going nicely, bam! Another filthy human enters the Skool and I have to grace their unworthy little selves with my greatness.

Bak. Now she's interesting. Here, I thought I had her on my side. But that little red hat proved me wrong.

It all started on the first of December. An unmemorable day for me, but everybody seemed so happy. Mrs. Bitters even announced that we'd have a week of for Christmas. Then it hit me, Christmas. I had been here for at least a year, and I hadn't done anything to capture these filthy monkey humans. So I had to put things to works. I had tried and tried, and found nothing, so thus I gave up. I'd wait for the holidays to end, of course I would. It would be simple, for Zim.

Yes, yes. I know what you're thinking. Why would the great, powerful, soon-to-be-ruler of Earth find something hard? Maybe because these nasties are constantly singing! Everyday, it seems that somebody wearing one of those jolly hats is walking by my house, singing a chorus of 'Deck the Halls' or 'Jingle Bells.' It's not even Christmas yet, and still they are singing those terrible songs! If I had ears, I think they'd be bleeding. Instead, I sit inside, my antennae twitching every time they speak of something happy. They even hung mistletoe up in the Skool, so now I have to watch myself when I step through a door.

Now isn't much better.

Mrs. Bitters, in her red suit, is standing at the front of the class, rambling on about how the holiday of Christmas came up;

"It started a long time ago. It is a story so happy I won't bother reciting it; so turn to page 1329 in your text books, and read it."

Most of the class obediently turned to the page in a textbook. I pulled mine out of my PAK, but decided I would do no such thing. I sat there for a few minutes while Mrs. Bitters returned to her desk, before a remarkable plan hit me. Why not read it? See what these filthy human brainmeats like so much about Christmas? And then take control of their minds. It was such a clever plan, I could only credit myself, Zim, for thinking it up. I sat, cackling to myself for a few minutes, before realizing I only had a few more minutes to get to reading the story...So I did.

I got halfway through when the teacher screamed to close the books, and we all did.

Mrs. Bitters took center stage again, hovering over us all like some demented Earth-bird. She stood there for a moment, looking us over from behind those creepy glasses, before finally speaking.

"Now, class will be over soon. Find a partner!"

She screeched, and following that, was a loud chorus of metal screeching against the floor as everybody got up to find a partner. It was so happy it made me sick to my squeedily spooch. Though I remained seated until everybody had finished hugging each other. Dib paired up with some girl, I don't know her name, but I guess he was stuck with her. I was scanning the room, looking for a partner when-

"Zim! Bak! You're partners."

Mrs. Bitters screeched, and I realized that she was the only other human stink without a partner. I hate working with those things, I really, really do. She hovered back to the front of the class and watched us for another minute before announcing her diabolical plans.

"Now, you and your partners will make a gingerbread house. It must be two stories. From there, you have creative rights."

Almost as soon as she finished, the bell rang. A flurry of hurried students flew out, only to hear remnants of her 'it's due tomorrow' scream. I was one of the crowd as I filed outside into the court yard, only to find, with distaste, it was raining. I screamed in pain, hopping back under the overhang as I watched the vile stuff fall from the sky for a few seconds. The next, I was examining my burnt skin.

I was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder, and I spun around to find it was Bak, my filthy partner. I growled in distaste, but didn't say anything. Instead, she spoke.

"I'm paired with you, Zim. I'm going to the store to get supplies, I'll meet you at your house."

She stood there for a moment, her hand outstretched. I looked at it for a moment, trying to figure out what she wanted me to do. Was I supposed to shake that nasty thing? Or like in those human movies, give her money? I pondered this for a moment, which got on her nerves, because she glared at me.

"I need your address."

My mind snapped to it and I pulled a piece of paper from my PAK, along with a pen, and scribbled down my house's address. She snatched it from me and opened her umbrella, walking out into the rain. She paused, for a minute, before walking back and handing me a spare one. "You might need it." And with that, she was off. I examined the gift for a second, but without further thought, I opened it and began walking home.

I arrived safely, only to find Gir sprawled out on the floor, in front of the couch. He was watching a Crazy Taco commercial, and screaming in a very high-pitched tone. I glared at him for a moment, before remembering I had to do a project for stupid Skool, and that a human-nasty was going to be in my house. My base, one of them was going to be in my base! I panicked, quickly scooping up Gir and tossing him in the toilet. "Go down to the lab, stay there. And...And try not to break anything."

He screeched, nodded, and I flushed it, sending him down into the depths below. I scurried forward, deactivating my gnomes for now, but I made mental note to turn them on shortly after Bak came. I didn't need her getting shot down or anything, because I had no clue what this "gingerbread" was. I understood the house part, but I was still stumped by the idiocy of the humans when...

Ding dong.

Oh, there she is. I ran to the door, threw it open, and rushed to the closet just in time to stop the robo-parents. She walked in, a bunch of bags in her hands. I directed her to the Kitchen, and she set the stuff on the table.

"So...What is this...Gingerbread that you speak of?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her. She looked at me funny, which I dismissed quickly.

"It's a type of bread. Here, I bought some dough that we can use. While I get it set up, I need you to start opening the stuff in the bags," She walked toward the counter with a bag, and started pulling out things in the cupboards, like bowls and spoons. "Don't worry, it doesn't bite." She added, somehow knowing that I was looking very funnily at the food. Carefully, I pried open one of the bags, and emptied it's contents.

One bag held several white tubes, which had colored flowers on them. One flower per tube. Two of them had white flowers, one of them had a red flower, and one had a green one. The next bag had two circular containers that were plastic. Inside them, there were little balls of color with sprinkly things on them. They were so disgusting looking. There were candy canes, mints, M&Ms, Lifesavers, and other assorted small candies in the next bag, and a few more tubes with the flowers on them in the last bag. I looked them over for a minute before grabbing the tubes and unscrewing one of the tops, looking at the inside. I squeezed it carefully, and nothing happened. I squeezed it harder, and white, frosty stuff splurged into my eye.

"Ow! How dare you project yourself at ZIM!" I screeched, closing my eye and shaking a fist at the vile tube. Bak turned to look at me, shaking her head and muttering something under her breath. She grabbed a towel and threw it at me. It landed on my head with a light 'thwap' and I plucked it up, covering my eye. My good one peered out at the tube, glaring at it. As soon as I regained vision in my right eye - the one that fell victim to the tube, I recapped it and opened up the container of brightly colored ball things.

"What are these things?" I hissed, poking them with a finger. They were squishy, but not overly so. The sparkles on them rubbed off easily too, which I made note to.

"Gumdrops. They are for decorations. The stuff you got in your eye is frosting, which we'll use for the glue of the house. The candies are for decorations as well, and what I'm making will serve as the walls."

I nodded carefully, closing the container of these 'gumdrops.' I moved on to opening the candies, which Bak instructed me to put into bowls. I don't know why I'm taking these orders from a human ick, but I am. After a while, Bak turned to the table with a few sheets of brown bread stuff, which I assumed was the gingerbread. I looked at it, weary after my icing incident.

"Is this the 'gingerbread'?"

"Yes."

We were quiet after that for a moment, and then the garbage can opened, and Gir came out. He was wearing his dog suit, but was somehow attracted to the bread.

"Ooh gingerbread!" He squeaked, running to the table. "What're we making!"

I grumbled, hitting my forehead.

"Nothing, Gir. I have a project for Skool."

He looked at me with a sad face, then the gingerbread, and then Bak. Bak gave him a little smile, but went to cutting the brown bread-like...stuff. I stared at Gir for a moment, trying not to give in to his face. Eventually I shooed him off, and he went into the living room with his pig in hand. Bak finished cutting them, and grabbed a tube that had struck me in the eye. I was about to warn her of it's evil, when she poised it on a large plate she had brought over, and squeezed. At first, nothing happened, but then a thin stream of white frosting came out, and she drug it along the plate, creating a long line.

She then took a piece of the bread, and put it over the line, holding it there while counting to herself.

"One, two, three..."

After she reached ten, she released it. I grinned as the bread was to fall - but then it just stayed. It stayed. I frowned, staring at it.

"Why didn't it fall?"

She looked at me, an expression between laughing and confusion. She quickly did the action again, picking an edge of the bread that was standing up, and repeating it. Soon there was a square of bread, standing up. From there, she put the white icing on each corner, making it slightly wavy.

"Because, the icing holds it together. It forms as a sort of glue..."

I watched, fascinated, for a minute. She then lined the top of each piece of the four bread walls, then took another piece, and placed it on top, making a room.

"And by doing that, I just made a house...Though Mrs. Bitters says it has to be two stories, so you do this..."

She walked around me and took my right wrist with her hand. I grimaced, hating being this close to a human. Though I didn't say anything, because she had me picking up a piece for another wall, and spreading white frosting over the flat piece of bread. As soon as I finished, the tube ran out of icing, and we had to get another. Before long, I had made another story, and was unsure what to do.

"There! We're done! ZIM has finished!"

"Not quite."

She pointed to the left over bread, which was just enough for three walls.

"What we do now, is we make a roof. Take these two," she took my hands, and made me grab the two pieces of bread, forming them in a sort of triangle above the second story. "Then we connect them," she then made me spread icing above the top, and soon it was standing.

"Now we are done!"

"Nope." She picked up the last piece of bread and cut it in half, then fashioned them into two triangles, just tall enough to fill up the gap of the roof. Handing me one, she took another tube of frosting and filled it in. I copied her.

"Now," She started, placing the recently discarded bowls on the table. "Now we can decorate it. To do so, just put some icing on it, and press it up against the house."

We remained quiet for a while as we decorated the house, before she started up conversation.

"So, what are you going to get everybody for Christmas?"

"Eh...?"

"Christmas. A present, you know? You get them for people."

"Oh."

We were quiet again, and I had to think. I was sure Mrs. Bitters was going to to make us do that 'secret Santa' thing again, so I had to think. I really didn't have anybody to give anything to...Though I was sure I could give Dib a bomb, or something.

"I'll give that Dib-human a bomb."

It grew quiet, again.

"You can't do that, Zim. You have to give them nice things."

"Oh..."

It was quiet, yet again. By now, my side of the house had nice mint windows, and a little garden. I even made up some of my garden gnomes - with candy, of course - to go in front of the house. Bak had made lights for the house, and icicles over the edge of the roof. All-in-all, it looked pretty good - for having human intelligence behind it.

"I think I'll give Dib a telescope..."

She broke the silence, thinking thoroughly.

"And maybe the new Gameslave for Gaz, she seems to like those. What are you going to get for them?"

I thought, and I thought, and I thought yet again.

"I don't know."

"Well, you have a while to think."

She reached over and grabbed the M&M's from me, and started lining the roof, just above the frosting icicles.

"What do you want?" She asked me, gazing up above the house to look at me. What did I want? I wanted to take over the world! But I couldn't tell her that, she was one of them. Instead, I thought about what I wanted - aside from taking over the world.

"I don't know what I want."

She smiled, just a little, and soon we had finished the house. We agreed on leaving it at my house for a while, since the rain would ruin it. Bak went into the living room for a minute, coming back after a little while.

"Well, I'm going to go."

I walked her to the front door, where she grabbed her umbrella and stood outside the door.

"I don't really know what you'd like, so I'll give you your present now."

I stared at her for a moment, before she pointed up. I froze, my eyes slowly tracing the frame of the door, until they reached the top where -

There it was.

Mistletoe.

I gulped, and she leaned over before giving me a kiss, then walking out the door.

I stood there, watching her walk down the sidewalk for what seemed like an hour - even though I was sure it was a few minutes. She soon disappeared around a corner, and I still stood there. One of those filthy, human...things just kissed me. When my face - which had gone numb, gained feeling, and I could move it. I did the unexpected.

I smiled.

----

A/N: Aww yay fluff. It was really boring, in my opinion. Though poor Zim now knows how to make a gingerbread house.

Yay for my VERY early Christmas ficlet! Review.


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